I look at the fabulous results people have achieved in 12WBT and on our 30+ page and feel so happy for them. There is no doubt that they have worked hard and I am so pleased they are seeing the results of their hard work.
And I’m jealous as all get out.
Not of their results, but of their lives. Quite often they make comments with their photos, like they haven’t worn these jeans in three years, or first time in swimmers in five years. Then there are the photos of friends and families and children.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with my lot in life (for those that don’t know me I’m single and have no children), but every now and then I can’t help thinking how my weight might have affected my choices and my opportunities. Because I have NEVER been a healthy weight. I have NEVER been fit. I have NEVER been in the health weight range.
Sometimes, like now, this makes me sad.
Did my weight stop me from living life to the fullest? Did my weight stop me from pursuing opportunities? Did my weight stop me from believing somebody would be interested in me as more than a friend? Did my weight cause me to sabotage relationships? Did my weight stop me from thinking I was worthy of being a parent?
I don’t know where to go with this blog. I don’t have any answers, I don’t know what any of this means, I just had to admit to myself that as exciting as this weight loss is, I wonder how much my life of poor choices might have cost me.